Archive for March 2006

Watch Out for Bolting Horses!

March 8, 2006

According to Mary Harney, the Minister for Justice plans to publish amendments to the Criminal Justice Bill within two weeks.  The amendments will, among other things, deal with gun crime.

What a coincidence.

The bang you hear in the background is the sound of a stable door being slammed.

The bangs you hear in the foreground are gunshots.

Rummy Ruminates Further

March 8, 2006

Rumsfeld on Iran:

They are currently putting people into Iraq to do things that are harmful to the future of Iraq and we know it. And it is something that they, I think, will look back on as having been an error in judgment.”

The voice of experience?

Donald Ducks the Blame

March 8, 2006

US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has put the blame for all the bad news coming out of Iraq squarely where it belongs.

On the media.

Rumsfeld says “his” generals have downplayed the recent violence between Sunnis and Shias.  Apparently journalists have been exaggerating the situation.

Meanwhile, in other news, the bodies of 18 men have been found in a minibus in Baghdad.  The men, bound and blindfolded, had been shot or strangled to death.

Only a minor incident, then.  Let’s not exaggerate it.

Shedding No Tears

March 7, 2006

I've never taken delight in the death of a fellow human being – and I'm not about to start now – but neither will I be shedding any tears over the death of Dwane Foster.

Maybe his mother loved him.  I can't imagine anyone else doing so.

Bertie: Nothing to do with us

March 6, 2006

If jumping on bandwagons ever becomes an Olympic sport, we’ve got a sure gold medal winner right here in Ireland.

Show Bertie Ahern a bandwagon, and he’ll be on board it faster than you can say, “Jaysus, there might be a few votes in this!”

Which is why, no sooner had Michael McDowell got his bandwagon rolling with his “watershed” speech, that he found himself fighting for the reins with the Taoiseach.

Bertie has described yesterdays shooting of 22-year-old Donna Cleary as a “new low”, (presumably because McDowell had already pinched “watershed”) .

According to Bertie, the courts have been handing down excessively lenient sentences for serious crimes, including murder.

Oh well, there we have it, then.  It has nothing at all to do with the total failure of law enforcement in this country.  It has nothing to do with the shambles of an organisation that is the Garda Siothcana – undermanned, underequipped, appallingly managed and totally demoralised.

Above all, it has nothing to do with Bertie or his Minister for Justice.

Kitt has Cat Memory

March 6, 2006

Seems like poor Tom Kitt is the latest of the Cute Hoors to be struck down by memory loss.  He “forgot” to tell the Mahon Tribunal about a bribe donation of £2,000 he received from a south Dublin developer.

Funnily enough, he didn’t actually forget to tell Fianna Fail’s own enquiry about the bribe donation.  He decided not to tell the Cute Hoors because he was no longer a county councillor at the time of the bribe donation.

By that stage, he had become a Minister of State.

Obviously, Kitt assumed it was ok for a Minister of State to receive a bribe donation, when it was not ok for a councillor to do so.

McDowell to act on gun crime. Sometime soon. Maybe…

March 6, 2006

So Michael McDowell regards the murder of Donna Cleary as a “watershed”, does he?  (And there’s the rest of thinking Veronica Guerin’s murder was a “watershed”.)

How many murders have been committed in the state since Micheal McDowell first slid his pampered, privileged arse into a ministerial Merc?

The clear implication here is that McDowell regarded all of these other killings as routine, nothing to get too worked up about.

And now, finally, the Minister intends to take action.  And the action consists of, “…plans to bring mandatory criminal sentences for firearms offences in the forthcoming legislation.”

Bet that’s got the scumbags quaking in their shoes.

Bliar fingers God as co-conspirator!

March 4, 2006

Tony Bliar has sensationally named God as the “Third Man” in the decision to invade Iraq. 

Confirming earlier claims made by his co-accused, George “Butch” Bush, Bliar said he, too, had consulted with God before giving the order to invade Iraq.

“‘E made me do it,” blubbed a tearful Bliar.  “‘E told me to go ahead.  Said it was ‘is will, ‘e did.  Told me he’d see me roight.  Honest, guv.  ‘E’s the one wot you want.  It’s all dahn to ‘im.”

God was unavailable for comment last night.  Investigators believe he is currently in Afghanistan, being consulted by Osama Bin Laden.

Prosecution Delay – And The Doc Gets Away!

March 3, 2006

In November 1997, Dr James Barry of Lauriston Lodge, Glanmire, Co Cork, was charged with sexually assaulting almost 40 girls and young women by secretly videotaping them in various stages of undress when they attended his surgery.

Today, more than eight years later, in accordance with a European Court of Human Rights ruling, Cork Circuit Criminal Court decided that Doctor Barry’s human rights had been violated by the delay in bringing his case to trial.  The trial has now been prohibited, meaning the Doc is free to go.

No doubt he’ll celebrate by purchasing a new video camera.

Could somebody please explain how it took eight years to bring this case to court?  (There’s no point in waiting for the DPP to comment.  As usual, he’s hiding behind a “No comment”.)

It couldn’t have anything to do with Barry’s being a doctor, could it?  Not to mention his living in Glanmire?

Nah.  Even if he was an unemployed labourer from Knocknaheney he’d have got exactly the same treatment.  Wouldn’t he?

And who cares about the human rights of the women?  Not the DPP, it would seem.

Liam Clancy gets it Right

March 3, 2006

Just heard on the Tubridy Show.

Liam Clancy: “No matter where you are in Ireland, no matter WHERE you are, you’re within ten feet of a……property developer.”

Class 🙂